...Then the Skies Opened Up and God Sent Down a Breville Fountain Juicer Plus

As I’m sure were thousands of other BBWs, I was inspired to start a juice fast after watching Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  If you haven’t seen it, watch it.  But basically it’s a documentary about a man who is overweight and unhealthy and decides to go on a 60-day juice fast to lose weight and wean himself off his daily pill cocktail.  He accomplishes his goals and helps other fatties that he meets along the way.  It’s heartwarming really. Obviously, I did a lot more research before jumping into juicing but this was the first I’d heard of it. 

In addition to the above mentioned documentary, I recommend The Juicing Bible, Second Edition by Pat Crocker (Betty’s thinner, healthier sister?).  It not only gives great juice recipes but explains what each fruit/veggie is good for and also has a section on natural cures for a variety of different ailments from Alzheimer’s to flatulence.  Here’s the section on weight loss.  You’re welcome.

During a juice fast, you ingest nothing but fresh fruit and vegetable juice (you’ll need a juicer), water, and decaf herbal tea. You can do a juice fast for any length of time you choose.  Three days is a nice detox and I work with a woman who has done thirty days.  I personally have done two 10-day, one 7-day and one 3-day fast.  I just completed my second 7-day fast.

Sit back, relax and let me tell you a little about my experience:

During the first 10-day fast there was a definite placebo effect going on.  I think I was just so excited to try it and I wanted it to work so badly that after the third day, I felt amazing!  I could see better! I had energy! I loved everyone and everything!  I felt so inspired and like I’d discovered the secret to a long, healthy life. The second and every other fast I felt hungry, irritable, weak and super emotional. Yet, I lost weight so I endured.

More realistically, the first few days I feel tired and very weak.  Sometimes I get headaches.  It helps if you ease your way into the fast by eliminating sugar, meat, dairy and caffeine from your diet several days before you begin.  (Doesn’t that just sound so easy peasy?)  I did that the first fast and think that’s why it was such a pleasant experience.  The others I just kind of jumped into because I was experiencing a superfluous amount of self-loathing.  On average, I lose about a pound a day when I juice fast. 

What’s so great about the juice fast is, though you’re technically starving yourself, you’re still providing your body with all sorts of wonderful vitamins (pronounced vit-uh-mins) and minerals.   You feel hungry but it’s a different kind of hungry.  More of an empty feeling.  This isn’t so bad once you realize your stomach looks flat.

I was a bit hesitant to juice because I was afraid, given the insulin resistance that is PCOS, the sugar in the fruit and veggie juice would make me feel sick and/or store all the sugars as fat like it usually does. But it doesn’t.  I don’t get headaches or feel nauseous which is odd because I sometimes do when I eat whole fruit (especially pineapple).  I guess because it’s so low calorie my body if forced to use to put it all to good use for once.  I also try to avoid pure fruit juice and use low glycemic fruits when I do drink it.

The other issue with juicing is, what to do about my medicine?  It’s recommended to stop all medications while juice fasting.  I, like many of you, am on birth control and Metformin.  I stopped taking my Metformin for a couple of days during the first 10-day fast.  I didn’t stop the birth control though…I’m trying to be skinny, not a Mommy.  I personally didn’t notice a difference between taking the Metformin or not so I continued to take it during future fasts.  Of course, you should probably work all this out with your doctor first but…I mean, I got this.  If you’re doing a juice fast as a detox, then I might recommend not taking your medications.

Let me just tell you, fasting requires some serious will power sister friend.  The second day of my most recent fast I was offered Swedish ginger snap cookies, apple crumb pie, cupcakes and a brownie…all before 10am! There are bowls of candy everywhere I look.  There is a glorious dessert tray in the work cafeteria.  My husband makes himself a “sweet treat” every night before bed.   It’s not only the sweets either; savory can be just as tempting.  You’ll start to crave the weirdest things, just to have a something in your mouth (I realize that sounds naughty).  Things you don’t even normally eat.  And the smells!  My God the smells…

Speaking of work, to juice during the week, I make a juice for breakfast than a separate batch of juice to bring to work.  I make enough for 2-3 servings of juice throughout the day.  It helps to put a little lemon (juice it in or just throw in a slice) in the work juice to keep it fresh.  Also, you’ll definitely need a refrigerator at work.  If you don’t have one, that might be an issue.  Juice tastes the best immediately after making it but it’s drinkable throughout the day.  It also sucks drinking the same juice three times a day.  I’m very lucky to have a juice place right across the street from where I work so I can have a little variety sometimes. I drink tons of water and lots of tea, mostly to stay warm.  Juicing can also lower your body temperature.

Don’t be shy.  I know you’re wondering how this affects the digestive system.  Some people experience diarrhea, some people experience constipation, some people stay the same.  I personally experienced neither though I certainly wasn’t going as much as usual.  There’s nothing solid in your tummy so how can anything come out of your booty, feel me?   If you feel you need a little help gettin’ things moving, there is a variety of herbal laxatives that you can find online, in health food stores, etc. I will warn you because I had to learn the hard way – beets are a laxative!! I won’t get into the details but I once juiced two whole beets in a matter of two days and soon thought I was hemorrhaging from my anus.  Beets don’t just stain your clothes red, if you know what I’m sayin’.  It was not pleasant.  I also didn’t experience much gas (thank the Lord) but many people do.

Let me just do a quick pros and cons list for you more visual learners, including some unexpected side-effects I experienced:

Pros	Cons
Lose a lot of weight, fast	Requires uber will power
Clear, bright skin	Tiredness-like can’t pick your head up kind of tired
Better vision (not Rx-wise, more vividness)	Weakness-daily activities like going up stairs is challenging
Facial hair growth slows	Irritability, emotional
Dark Circles around eyes lighten	Nagging hunger
Stomach feels flat	Expensive (so much produce)
Lots of compliments!  Seriously-when I juice, everyone tells me I look amazing.	Constant trips to store to buy more produce
	Cleaning the juicer sucks ass!
	Difficult at work
	Can only do moderate exercise-difficult to get back into routine
	Lower body temp (cold all the time)
	Irregular poo poos

 

I realize the cons list is longer but did you see the first pro I listed??  As challenging as it may be,  it’s just nice to have this little ace in my back pocket whenever I need a weight loss boost.

In case you’re curious, here’s my juicer.  I got it on sale at Macy’s plus the 25% Friends & Family discount.   I also hear emulsifiers are a great option but I’ve already invested in the juicer.